If you find it hard to control your use of pornography, the first thing to know is that you can talk about it calmly and without being judged. This is a guiding starting point, not a diagnosis.
- Put into words what is happening. When does the urge appear? At what times of day, in what mood? Noting it down for a week often shows a pattern.
- Tell apart what worries you. A conflict with your values is not the same as a persistent difficulty controlling the behaviour when it is already affecting your life (time, work, relationship, rest). ICD-11, the WHO’s international classification of diseases, states that distress due solely to moral judgements is not enough to speak of compulsive sexual behaviour.
- Try a small, concrete change. For example, moving your phone to another place at the time of day when it is hardest, or agreeing with yourself on an alternative action for that moment.
- If the pattern repeats and overwhelms you, talking to a professional can help. At ATVE the work starts in session and is supported between sessions, which is where the difficult moments appear.
You can write to me without sharing anything specific: it is enough to say that you want information.
Antonio Presencia Crespo, therapeutic companion, creator of ATVE.
Source: ICD-11 (WHO), compulsive sexual behaviour.